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Diary of a Social Media Hiatus: How I Did It & What I Learned

by Abby Kerr

in Uncategorized

About this column

In my last post, I shared why I’ve taken a social media hiatus in August 2012 {short story: big business shifts ahead} and what I planned for my hiatus to look like {no Twitter or Facebook, limited email}.

I decided to keep a periodic diary of my hiatus so I could track how it went, and share my insights with you.

I’m currently on Day 19 of this planned 21-day hiatus. All in all, I’m emerging calmer in my nervous system, more centered around what it is I do and want to create in this next phase of my business, absolutely delighted to have discovered what actually works for me in terms of social media interaction vs. activity, and — missing you and this conversation.

Here’s a rundown of my escapades in social media hiatusland.

DAY ZERO

Tonight, before bed, I delete the Twitter and Facebook apps off my iPhone. I feel as if I’ve just deleted the bank accounts that hold all my money. Interesting.

DAY ONE

In my home studio, on my desktop PC: I take one more quick look at my Facebook business page and the private copywriting group I co-facilitate {sorry, writers, we’re all full for now} before logging out. I log out of Twitter, too, without even reading all of this morning’s @ replies. Wow. Unhooking from these platforms feels to me like wading out into a deep lake without a life preserver.

I keep grabbing my iPhone and automatically scrolling to the second home screen where my social media icons usually live. They’re not there, as I deleted them last night. I realize this with a sudden dull pang, each time, like I’ve swallowed a gust of wind and it lands in my stomach. Whomp.

Already today I am noticing how much more quickly I get shit done. I’m producing. I’m tearing through my Inbox, one email response to the next. {Nothing gratuitous or outside-of-business: these are emails I actually need to write and respond to.} I push out client deliverables easily, like making specialty sandwiches I’m really skilled at making. {Not quite.}

I feel more peaceful in my stomach, and inside my brain.

DAY TWO

My brain synapses feel {if they can indeed be felt} healthier and less frayed already. I am having thoughts — complete thoughts! — about my work that glide whole, in succession, into place, one after the other.

Between finishing one client deliverable and starting the next, I find myself thinking, “Oh, I’ll just check Fa – -,” “Oh, lemme check Tw – – .” And then I remember that I’m not doing that anymore. Not right now. And I get back to work.

Kind of amazing. But I did find a reason to InstaGram something yesterday.

DAY THREE

The ideas for this next iteration of my business, they have begun to zoom. I keep Google Docs and Basecamp open as tabs as I work on a client project, and it seems every 5 minutes I’m clicking over to add a new idea into one of them.

So this hiatus? Really doing my mind and emotions a world of good, and it’s only Day Three. It’s interesting, how insidious I’m seeing the *pull* of social media is for me. Granted, I haven’t had much time to work on my stuff because I’ve been doing client work, but my focus is so much there and I’m accomplishing everything faster.

I’m seeing that my way of using social media really was slowing me down, like adware or spyware running in the back {or front} of my mind at all times. Like a pop-up ad I could never make go away.

DAY THIRTEEN

My social media hiatus is going really well. My brain feels healed, actually. The constant pinging and bouncing back and forth from one interface to the next is gone.

Have decided I’m going to permanently revise the way I use social media, as I can clearly see now what’s distracting and useless and just activity, rather than adding value.

For instance, this is what’s true for me:

Adding value: Tweeting about my work, what I’m excited about, what peers and colleagues are up to that I want to bring attention to. Sharing business-related updates on Facebook 1-3 times a day and responding to comments once a day.

Useless activity: Tweeting every quirky thought that enters my head, just because I have working fingers and an empty box that can hold 140 characters. Scrolling through my Home feed on Facebook. And scrollingandscrollingandscrolling. Like. Scrollscrollscroll.

Adding value: Intentionally logging into Twitter 1-2 times a day, for 10 minutes or so at a time, to thank people for retweets, interact, answer questions. Checking out what peers and colleagues are up to on Facebook for business, Liking what’s genuinely exciting to me, and offering comments where I have something to add. Then getting the hell off.

Useless activity: Tweeting thank-you’s within 2 minutes of every share, and getting lost in back-and-forth convo for 20 minutes with whomever happens to be online at that moment {however much I like and appreciate them}. Doing this eight times a day. Bouncing from Facebook biz page share to the sharer’s blog, reading their blog post, reading the blog post they link to in that blog post, and — you know how it goes.

DAY 19

I notice that my Twitter followership has continued to grow at my usual rate even though I’ve been off of Twitter for two and a half weeks. And as per usual, about two-thirds of them look like quality follows, not spammers or people who followed after searching some rogue keyword {“sea salted sesame seeds, anyone?”}

Over the past couple days, I’ve caught myself missing Twitter and Facebook. I’m missing the feeling of being haphazardly folded into distant friends’ lives by virtue of a one-time digital connection, the click of an Accept, and I’m missing being in the loop of colleagues’ business plans {what’s Brit Hanson been up to?}.

I also miss the constant cameraderie of my private Facebook group for copywriting professionals, which I co-facilitate with Emma Alvarez Gibson. These ladies have been an incredible support and resource over the past several months. From afar, it feels to me like they’re all on vacation somewhere and I wasn’t able to make it.

My business plans have been progressing nicely. I’ve spent the majority of my hiatus energy working behind the scenes on the service I’m developing with a new collaborative partner, whom I’ll be sharing about soon. I’ve also spent several rich hours curating a file of inspiration images for the talented web designer who’ll be bringing the next iteration of my business’s visual identity to life.

And I’ve been doing lots of client work, still maintaining nearly a full-time production schedule while I’ve been social media-quiet, so emails, collaborating in Google Docs, and Skype sessions haven’t stopped. Rather, I’ve found that I have even more energy for creative work than I did before I ever went on hiatus. The work comes more quickly, with less effort, and the work seems — better.

DENOUEMENT

This hiatus, with two full days still left in it, has showed me exactly what my addictive patterns around social media use look and feel like. I can’t believe how much more relaxed my nervous system feels. I have more focus and energy for my personal life, too.

I have a structure in mind for how I’ll return to Twitter and Facebook next week once my hiatus is over. I refuse to act like the now-thin person coming off of a successful diet and resuming eating ‘whole hog.’ I’ve got to eeeeeaaaaase back in, retrain my brain to engage on these platforms in shorter, more intentional bursts, and take action quickly to log out once I’ve recognized that I’ve passed the point of diminishing returns.

All in all, what I’m recognizing is the story I’ve told myself so frequently over the last several years of creative self-employment {6 and counting!}: that’s there’s never enough time to get everything done.

That’s true if we’re staring at a dining hall full of everything. Business goals grow and the attendant tasks they require mushroom and multiply. And so it’s easy to distract ourselves from the whole enchilada in front of us by Twittering and Facebooking away the hours, groaning over our lack of perceived productivity.

One thing I’ve learned over the past three weeks is this: there’s enough time in any day to move any worthwhile project forward. And incremental forward progress is where it’s at.

This business shift I’m heading toward has been a long time in the making. If I could have future-cast this 6 years ago when I first opened my brick and mortar retail shop, I probably could have envisioned myself doing something exactly like what I’m now building behind the scenes.

What I couldn’t have predicted were the quality of the relationships I now have in place to make this happen. I finally have my right people. {And I’m getting ready to teach you how to find yours.}

In the comments, I’d love to know . . .

Have you ever taken a social media hiatus or digital hiatus? How did you know you needed one? What did you learn?

Photo: allaboutgeorge

{ 20 comments… read them below or add one }

Heidi Taylor August 22, 2012 at 3:30 pm

Abby, 
This post is brilliant.  I feel like I have just peeked into your secret diary and read the thoughts you have around using Social Media and the effects that have taken place to you and your business. You are modeling “best practices” to the online community at large.  To me, you are modeling the steps you have taken to grow your business and this seems to be the next most natural one to take.  The insights you share in gaining followers while gone from social media takes the stress and panic away from those of us who fear it as well.  Thank you for opening up your “play book” and letting us inside.  Huge gratitude @heiditeee

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Abby Kerr August 22, 2012 at 3:42 pm

Hey, Heidi —

Thanks so much for this encouraging comment! You’re exactly right: I kept this diary as a Google Doc and added things in whenever I felt inspired to, and then just today transferred it over into a blog post and edited it up.

I truly appreciate your mention that what I’ve shared here feels like modeling best practices to you. That’s one of my intentions as a creative entrepreneur — to help out my peers, colleagues, and clients with their business practices, so that we can all have a more sustainable and joyful experience.

Wishing you so very well and thanks for reading today. :)

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Darrah Parker August 22, 2012 at 4:48 pm

Yes! Yes! I have been off of FB and Twitter for a little over a week and I recognize myself in so much of what you have written. I didn’t realize I was addicted until I deleted FB and Twitter from my iPhone. For the first couple of days, I found myself thinking in status updates. Since then, I have felt more relaxed, less pressure, and more clear about what’s important to me. The house is cleaner, I’ve spent more quality time with my daughter, and I’ve even read a book. A BOOK!

I like your thoughts about easing back in. I’m not sure when I’ll go back, but it will definitely be different than the 24-hour a day approach I had before.

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Abby Kerr August 22, 2012 at 5:08 pm

Oh, Darrah, how true this is for me, too:

For the first couple of days, I found myself thinking in status updates.

Even today, I keep thinking, Damnit, if only I could *tweet* that!

Nice to know you’ve been away from SM, too. I’ll look forward to seeing you back there once we’re both there again — and let’s plan to hold on to the human ground we’ve reclaimed once we enter back in! xo

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Susana Frioni August 23, 2012 at 12:19 am

scrollscrollscrollscrollscrollscrollscroll….LMFAO!

So good to hear from you + so happy to hear about your social media detox and all the awesome insights.  Sending you Big Love as always XOX

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Abby Kerr August 23, 2012 at 11:37 am

Thanks, Susana! Big love right back! :)

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Ameena Falchetto August 23, 2012 at 3:20 am

Great insights – I just came back online after a 3.5 week social media blackout and yes, I can totally relate to your epiphanies! It’s so easy to get trapped in the idea that activity is accomplishment – it’s a dangerous place to be. 
We can’t create when we are constantly consuming the ideas of others.
Good to see you back and yes, I am easing in very slowly but haven’t put the apps back on my phone – they don’t need to be there.  

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Abby Kerr August 23, 2012 at 11:39 am

Wise woman you are, Ameena. I’m tempted not to reinstall my apps, either. I have a big feeling that detaching from my iPhone a bit is part of why my nervous system feels so much softer. Congrats on your own blackout!

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Shenee Howard August 24, 2012 at 4:36 pm

Hi Abby, 

So, do you know cold turkey? It’s this REALLY hardcore site blocking software that doesn’t allow you to get on a site, even if you REALLY want to. I use that most days now. Helps me get stuff done. 

I think for me, it has been all about being a lot more thoughtful about the way I use social media and also realizing that I don’t have to talk all the time to be heard. I don’t know if that makes sense but it has been huge for me. I spend more time on creating and I find that creation results in more than me being so plugged in. 

I have also found that I don’t use social media as much as my business has grown because it results in an identity crisis of sorts. The more noise I hear, the listen I can listen to myself and for my business that is REALLY important 

Hope you are doing well, Abby!

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Abby Kerr August 24, 2012 at 5:18 pm

Hey, Shenee! —

I haven’t heard of Cold Turkey. I’ve seen Leech Block & Freedom for Mac, but I’m going to check out CT now, too. Appreciate the tip!

And YES to your point about not having to talk all the time to be heard. That’s a great realization I’m newly having. More *volume* on social media {in terms of number of shares, etc.} doesn’t equal more impact. Really good takeaway for me from my own experiment.

You are a perfect example of someone who gets s*it done — I admire your prolificness!

Wishing you great things this season in your business. Great to see you here! :)

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Caryn Caldwell August 25, 2012 at 10:08 am

Fascinating! Thanks for sharing this. I’ve wondered what effect temporary disappearances would have on Twitter followers (very little, apparently) and how difficult it would be to just let go for a while (difficult but worth it). Great experiment!

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Abby Kerr August 26, 2012 at 5:38 pm

Hey, Caryn —

You’re so welcome! I think mostly why I’ve continued to gain Twitter followers in my absence has been that I have archives of content that are working for me, continuing to be shared by readers, plus interviews I’ve given and guest pieces I’ve contributed to other sites that are newly being found. Still, it’s been heartening to see that a short{ish} absence hasn’t made that much of an impact on the overall brand convo.

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EricaG August 25, 2012 at 9:57 pm

Abby, thanks for this excellent post.  I, too, experience the fear of missing an opportunity or quickly losing touch if I take a step back from social media.  Thanks for modeling a healthy approach. 

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Abby Kerr August 26, 2012 at 5:39 pm

Erica —

My pleasure! Glad this was valuable for you and I’m hoping to hold on to my newfound social media health now that I’m back. :)

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Audrey Preston August 28, 2012 at 2:33 pm

“there’s enough time in any day to move any worthwhile project forward. And incremental forward progress is where it’s at.”
You, my dear, are a genius. :) Audrey

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Abby Kerr August 28, 2012 at 2:50 pm

So glad this was inspiring, Audrey!

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Molly September 27, 2012 at 10:29 pm

So, Abby, I remembered getting your email saying you were doing this…and,I thought, ‘Oh, that’s cool for her, but I don’t need to do that.’  So, here I am a month later thinking, ‘I’ve got to find that article that Abby Kerr wrote about taking a hiatus from social media!’  Woof.  I’m overwhelmed on a day to day basis and yet, I feel like I’m supposed to be on all of them everyday to keep up my brand:  A daily dose, if you will.  I didn’t feel like I related to most people’s daily use of these things.  I only enter the arena to work on business.  None of these links are remotely personal and I don’t tend to get ‘lost’ in them….so I thought.  But, even when it’s just about using them for work, I always think I should be one step ahead, make it just right before public consumption.  So, I tend to work on these things in my “spare time” and then it’s taking up TWO avenues of my life.  Anyhoo, I know I need a break, but don’t see how I can do it without somehow putting a dent in my public brand of a business (and yet, do I see business rising because of all the time I spend on there? ummmm…).  I was led to believe, in order to have a business these days, these online, social media connections are hand in hand with being current and approachable and accessible.  Stuck between a rock and a hard place.

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Abby Kerr September 28, 2012 at 3:32 pm

Oh, Molly, I so hear you and resonate with what you’re saying here.

You have a beautiful brand & business & from my perspective, you are doing a fine job on social media. {Not that you’re asking for validation, but you really are doing a great job.}

I’m seeing such an upswing right now of incredibly talented, integrity-fill creative business owners who have just about HAD IT with social media. Everyone I talk to lately is looking for a way to maintain their personal sanity and their business productivity, while holding a meaningful conversation online with people who are interested in what they offer. It’s a very human struggle.

One thing that’s working for me is planning to take days fully OFF from certain platforms, i.e. Twitter {as it & FB tend to become ‘time sucks’ for me if I don’t watch it}. I’m realizing and embracing that we as business owners can host a meaningful conversation with a much lower volume of updates and much more rarefied interaction  {as opposed to hyper-interactivity} than we may think.

I’ve been talking with a couple of collaborative partners lately about how we can address this surge in social media frustration with our creatively entrepreneurial community. I’ll keep you posted via this site!

Happy weekend to you, Molly! xo

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Ricardo Bueno November 6, 2012 at 4:01 pm

Re: “Already today I am noticing how much more quickly I get shit done. I’m producing.”

Lately, I’m been struggling with getting the words out, faster. I often stare at the blank screen. And though the words eventually do come out, I feel like they should’ve come out faster (or sooner).

I get my best writing done at night. Or at least, that’s what I like to tell myself. Maybe, what it really is, I’m just making excuses and procrastinating and not recognizing that by cutting out distractions (social, search, et cetera), I can get those words out at any time of the day.

I like the idea of a hiatus. Though, doing a full 30 days might be a bit much (at least for me).

Still, I think I can find a good balance. I often read at night, and schedule my tweets (yeah, yeah… that’s not “authentic” but guess what, people still read them and engage). I need to then focus on cutting out those distractions to do the work and ship.

Some days, that’s easier said than done. But on the days where it all flows naturally, it feels damn good!

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abby November 6, 2012 at 4:09 pm

Hey, Ricardo! —

Really important to find our ‘hotspots’ in the day for high productivity and creativity times, isn’t it? Makes me think of Charlie’s Gilkey’s Productivity Heatmapping chart.

I do wonder how a social media ‘heavy user’ like you would do with a hiatus. If you do embark on one, I’d love to hear about it and what effects you experience, especially with regards to audience engagement. Personally, I’m all for scheduling some tweets. A little automation helps us focus on the work that serves clients the most.

Thanks for participating!

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