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Voice Values How-To

When we talk about Voice Values, it’s usually all about writing.

We’re generally speaking about how you approach copy for business, and how best to help you connect with your Right Person. The Voice Values serve a role in marketing that keeps your brand conversation authentic, because they’re all about what matters most to you, as a person and as a business.

But, much like any personality typing system, they can be applied to so much more than what language you choose to use in your writing. And, given some events happening in the world right now, we thought it useful to share something a little bit different — a Voice Values Guide to Social Action.

Depending on your strengths and your personal preferences, certain forms of activism might make you deeply uncomfortable, and it’s possible that you’re going to feel guilty about not doing all the things.

That’s not saying that you should outright avoid doing something because it makes you uncomfortable — you can be sure people who are impacted by unfair and exploitative policies are much more uncomfortable than you are — but there’s a place for everyone, and it’s very possible that the person who is right at home screaming protest chants in a crowd is horrified by the thought of correcting every incorrect fact being spewed on Facebook (and vice versa). If you focus on what you are good at, you can still make a huge difference, minus the guilt and discomfort.

Because we live in the United States, this guide is written with our own government and our current situation in mind, but it’s certainly applicable to other countries and their own concerns. Keep in mind that you’ll need to look into codes and laws if you’re planning anything, regardless of where you live — I don’t pretend to know the legality of organizing a protest one state over, let alone how to run for office in Tanzania.

A note: When you’re seeking out the most effective action, it’s best not to reinvent the wheel. Generally speaking, unless you see a clear gap that’s not being covered, supporting existing organizations is going to be more effective than starting your own. (Sorry, high Innovation folks.) Of course, if no one is doing what needs to be done, step up! But keep in mind that existing charities and social action organizations already have systems in place to handle things like donations and legal concerns, and your efforts will go much farther if you don’t have to figure out all of those issues on top of actually supporting your cause.

And so, without further ado, the Voice Values Guide to Social Action.

[Not sure of your Voice Values? You can sign up to take the quiz for free here.]

Accuracy

There is a lot of false information out there (fake news, if you will), and your natural instinct is to put it right. Whether it’s a questionable Facebook post or your racist uncle’s conspiracy theories, the facts are on your side, so don’t be afraid to speak up when you come across something that’s incorrect — or head to Google if something feels questionable but you’re not entirely sure. Just be careful that you’re applying your truth filter to both sides — even if you agree with the sentiment, it’s worth making sure the information being shared is correct. It may not make you the most popular person on your Facebook friends list, but the truth is worth protecting.

Audacity

Oh, Audacity.  “Go big or go home” could be your mantra. You are the ones climbing monuments and projecting giant signs onto buildings, but don’t be afraid to make your grand gesture a little closer to home. Consider what you can do to make a big impact on a smaller scale — staging a protest, leading a walk, punching a Nazi. (I kid. Mostly.) The one caveat for you is to be sure you’re not operating in a bubble. You can get wrapped up in making the biggest statement, the most memorable sign, but you may need another set of eyes to be sure your statement is clear — and not undermining your cause overall.

Clarity

I’m fortunate to have several lawyers as friends, so when I’m unpacking the news and start to get bogged down in the implications and legalities and specifics, I have someone to ask. This lawyer may or may not be you, but chances are, you’re the one seeking out articles that explain what’s going on, in uncomplicated, easily accessible terms. There’s so much going on that can be difficult to understand (even for the lawyers!), but you can help bring some simplicity to all of it, and share that with people who might not otherwise understand. Because understanding the news — and what it means for all of us — is absolutely crucial in developing a plan for making things right.

Community

Community action is an obvious fit for you, so don’t be afraid to gather your people and get to work. Start a fundraiser. Plan a protest. Join the campaign team for a political candidate who champions the ideals you support. Creating and organizing groups is second nature to you, and having the power of numbers is so important in enacting change. You can make a difference on a national — or even global — scale, but don’t get discouraged if you tend to work better up close and personal. Real, lasting change starts within our own communities, and you’re uniquely suited to build those groups, whether it’s a nation-spanning organization or a small but active kaffeeklatsch within your neighborhood.

Depth

Never one to skim the headlines, your understanding of the news is complex and so much more expansive than most. Help others to see the ways these stories are connected, the recurring characters whose actions ripple through months’ worth of news. Not all of us spring for the New York Times subscription, so call out those misleading headlines — you’re not likely to get everyone to dedicate the sort of time you do to really understanding what’s going on in the news, but you can help them avoid falling into the trap of getting their news from six-word snippets. (Be aware — for them and for you — that news burnout is a very real thing. It’s okay to take a step back if you find yourself diving too deep.)

Enthusiasm

As someone with a high Enthusiasm value, you’re likely to burn out a lot slower than others. While your friends may be ready to hole up in a wifi-free cave in the mountains somewhere, you’re looking for the next rally. It’s important to understand that people need to take care of themselves, and sometimes that looks like disengaging for a bit. But in the long run, it’s perseverance and commitment that are going to succeed in enacting change, and you’re the perfect person to keep up the levels of enthusiasm and rally the troops. Share your passion and get others excited to join in with you.

Excellence

No one would ever expect to see you waving a hastily penned sign at a protest. For those with a high Excellence value, the most important thing is to do something right or not at all. So apply those talents to areas where a level of polish is going to help win minds. Volunteer to design a website for a grassroots candidate whose graphic design team leaves something to be desired. Write a really compelling script to share with concerned citizens looking to call their senators and representatives. Organize an event that others have struggled to manage. If your other Voice Values lie in Depth, Accuracy, Clarity, or Transparency, you might consider writing an article or even an opinion piece — flawlessly researched, with several rounds of revisions and copyedits, of course — that helps people better understand and act on a subject that’s especially important to you.

Helpfulness

There are so many areas where those with a high Helpfulness value can be of service, it can be hard to know where to start. You might help people register to vote or organize a ride share on election day. Start a fundraiser or volunteer with an organization supporting human rights. Find ways to support those in your community who are directly impacted by regressive policies, providing food or other necessities to those who can’t afford them or organizing access to free or low-cost clinics to those unable to get health insurance. Pick a cause that’s particularly weighing on your mind, seek out the organizations working on them directly (Google basically has you covered here), and ask them how you can help. Chances are, they’ll have plenty for you to do.

Innovation

Clearly, the way we’re doing things right now isn’t working. And that’s where you come in — whether you’re petitioning for the elimination of the Electoral College, creating a new app to help people get out and vote, or championing social change in calls to your representatives, your forward-thinking nature means that change is your thing. You may even be a good fit to run for office — a progressive platform is appealing to more and more voters today, and all those policy suggestions you’ve been doodling in the margins of your notebooks could be the foundation for some seriously impactful bills.

Intimacy

With a high Intimacy value, your strengths lie in the personal, but this can also be your weakness. When the news is full of sobbing children missing their parents and communities without power or clean water, it hits you, hard. Take care of yourself. Take frequent breaks. Laugh whenever you can. And then use this empathy that you so naturally feel and focus on bringing about change on a personal level to the people who need it right now. Rather than trying to solve the problems of the world, sponsor a single family. Reach out to your friends and make sure that everyone in your circle votes. Look to a friend who is Muslim or Mexican or trans or a member of any other group impacted by these regressive policies and make sure they’re okay, and ask what you can do to help support them. Call your representatives and tell them what you expect from them. Frequently. You may not make headline news, but the difference you can make for a single person could mean absolutely everything.

Legacy

They say those ignorant of history are doomed to repeat it, and no one knows this better than the Legacy keepers. Keep an eye out for trends that mimic history, and call it out — online, to your friends, to anyone who will listen — whenever you spot a troubling trajectory. Can we learn from our past mistakes? Only someone who really understands them can say. On the other side of your personality, you’re interested in the legacy we’ll be leaving for future generations — and not just what side of history we’ll be shown on in the school books of our grandchildren. You’re likely to find particular satisfaction working on environmental causes, since a poisoned, flooded world is no inheritance to leave our children. Whether you’re protesting deep sea drilling or donating to wildlife preservation groups, there are plenty of ways to get involved.

Love

Love is such a hard value to have in these times. Empathy is in your nature, and it can be painful to see people suffer. Your work is in supporting them, and allowing your love to set the example that these are human beings in need, not just statistics — or worse. Your empathy can be infectious, so try to inspire others to join you, whether than means collecting donations or petition signatures or gathering together an actual group of volunteers to get to work, hands-on. Unless you’re on the receiving end of a serious trust fund, it’s unlikely your charitable donations can keep up with your heart. That’s okay. Allow yourself to be okay with not providing financial support to every cause that tugs at your heartstrings, and find other ways to share your love with the people who are hurting most. Focus on humanitarian efforts, and find out how your particular strengths can fill in the gaps of what’s needed.

Playfulness

It may feel like Playfulness has no part in serious matters, but satire has been an effective tool in combating inequality and corruption for pretty much as long as we’ve had language. Think about political cartoons or, more recently, a certain large orange baby flying over England. You don’t need an in-depth analysis of policy to make a difference — sometimes, you just need something to grab someone’s attention. You don’t necessarily need to be the one to spearhead the entire project, but maybe there’s an upcoming rally or a publication that you can join up with and add a dose of satire. Maybe you just have a really clever sign to hold at a protest. That’s still important — hold that sign up high and know there’s a very good chance someone with a camera is going to be sharing it with the world later.

Power

Run for office. I’m serious. A high Power value doesn’t necessarily mean you’re “power-hungry,” but it does mean you’re well-suited to being in charge. And if you’re standing on a set of values that you can champion in office, get out there and do it. It doesn’t matter if you’re running for school board, city council, or senate, strong leadership at every level is what we need to make real, systemic change happen. (But if you have no political experience, maybe avoid running for President, yeah?) Not interested in holding office? Maybe you’re better suited to leading an activist group, managing operations for a charity, or running a campaign for someone who does want to take that seat. Hold your elected officials accountable. Whatever your preferred role, your natural aptitude and capacity to get stuff done are sure to make a difference.

Security

Security can be  tough value to hold in uncertain times, and you may struggle to see how you can make a difference. Look closely at efforts to preserve the social safety net — universal health care; welfare and housing support; high-quality, free public education — and seek out organizations that you can support, either financially or by volunteering your time and skills. If you have financial aptitude, you might consider teaching a local class on saving for retirement or paying off debt — issues many lower-income individuals face that are compounded by an uncertain social security outlook. You can also stand as a voice of reason when fears can work people into a frenzy. If possible, defuse the situation by highlighting the protections we do have, and help them find ways to safeguard their own families.

Transparency

In a political climate defined by lies and misdirection, the role of transparency is absolutely crucial. You may not personally have access to behind-the-scenes secrets, but you can definitely boost the signal of those who do — sharing articles, social media posts, or other reports that reveal actions some might prefer to hide, or holding it up on a big sign at a protest or march. Make sure that back-room deals are brought to light in any way you can, and you may sway some opinions — or light a fire under politically neutral people who might not be as diligent in seeking out these secrets. There are many watchdog groups who could use your support, on topics from fair elections to corporate environmental violations. As the Washington Post says, “Democracy Dies in Darkness.” But not on your watch.

Regardless of your strengths, the most important way to support social action is to act. Whether you’re protesting in the streets, posting on Facebook, or spearheading a community network, remember that you are contributing to a much larger movement, and together, our tiny little actions can make a difference. (And VOTE, for the love of god.)

In the comments, I’d love to hear:

What causes are nearest to your heart? Do you currently support any activism?

 

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When Excellence Is a Death Sentence for Your Business

I suffer from a condition known as “analysis paralysis.”

You’ve probably been there, too.

If money didn’t matter, what career would you have? (Where do I even start? Artist? Writer? Dog petting specialist?)

If you could vacation anywhere, where would you go? (The entire world? No restrictions?)

What do you want for dinner? (Well, what am I having for lunch tomorrow?)

With a wealth of options available, it can feel next to impossible to narrow it down, especially with the entire internet at our fingertips. There are customer reviews, consumer testing, comparison charts, and “best of” lists. And let’s not even get into price hunting! When every option has its merits, choosing the best course of action can be overwhelming.

The same goes for facing down the tsunami of “what ifs” in your business, especially for those with a high Excellence value.

People with a high Excellence value are focused on offering perfection, or as close to it as possible.

You sit down and write a blog post, only to think of a completely different way of approaching the subject that might be a little better. So you write an entire second post. And then you edit it again. And again. Do you need to run an A/B test? Get an outside opinion (or five)? In the quest for one great blog post, you’ve now spent a week of working time…and your content strategy calls for doing this twice a month.

Of course, this is just for a blog post. Let’s say you want to run an online course. You need a website. A Facebook page. Twitter. Instagram? Pinterest? LinkedIn? An email list. A sales page. Graphics. Payment processing. Customer service. Maybe CRM software? A sales funnel. Maybe an e-book or a download? A webinar? An ad campaign? And have you even written your course? Is there audio? What’s your microphone situation? Audio editing software? Music cues? Beta testers? Proofreaders? Testimonials? A VA?

It can be overwhelming for any business owner, but when one of your key values — your Voice Values — is Excellence, your preparation process goes to a whole new level. You don’t just want a microphone, you want the best microphone. One round of beta testing? Why not three? If you’re on one social media service, why not all of them?

The problem is, when you want to deliver the absolute best product possible, making the best choice for every single aspect of your process often means you never actually launch the product. It’s time-consuming. It’s expensive. It’s a lot harder than shelving it and falling back on something that’s already out there — or going back to a day job. You can literally spend your entire life planning and researching and choosing the “best” options, without ever making that final decision. But if you can’t bring yourself to launch with anything but the best, you can quickly find yourself with one more step before it’s done…and one more…and one more after that. Suddenly, your Excellent business is out of business, and not only are your would-be clients missing out on what may have been the best product in your market, they’re not getting anything from you.

So how can you appease your drive for Excellence without getting stuck in the Bog of Eternal To-Do Lists?

First of all, keep it simple.

Okay, you know you want everything you do to be top-notch, but that doesn’t mean you have to do everything. It’s okay — and necessary! — to limit yourself. Focus on what matters, make those elements perfect, and let go of the rest.

You want your product to be the best it can be, so it makes sense for you to dedicate the bulk of your efforts there — whether that means an extra round of beta testing, hiring a proofreader or a copywriter (yes, we do write courses for our clients, too), or putting in a bit more background research.

Once you have a product you can stand behind, decide how you want to market it. A sales page is usually a safe bet — you want people to be able to read about your course and make the decision to sign up on their own. Any other marketing is going to drive them to this page, so this really needs to shine. Then focus on a few select channels for advertising — you probably don’t need campaigns on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and a webinar and a free download. Choose one or two (or, okay, three), but realize that if you spread yourself too thin, you’re not going to be able to offer the level of polish you expect from yourself. A marketing funnel is all about working smarter, not harder, and trying to do too many things means you’re not presenting your best self to anyone — which is exactly the opposite of what you, the high Excellence business owner, want.

Speaking of spreading yourself too thin, often one of the hardest things for someone with a high Excellence value is delegating.

Releasing that bit of control, letting someone else have a try, maybe even — *gasp* — not being thrilled with the results, it’s enough to make you want to just handle it yourself. All of it. All the time. The problem is, again, when you’re doing too much yourself, you’re not giving any one thing your best effort, which makes your high Excellence value even harder to meet.

Try reframing “delegating” as “hiring a professional.”

It’s possible you’ll still find some faults in the work that’s done on your behalf, but keep in mind that you’ve hired someone who is experienced and trained, and try to let them explain why they’ve done things the way they have. Always try to work with professionals who offer revisions as part of their process, because there’s a good chance you’ll want to fine-tune, and it doesn’t really help anyone if you end up fine-tuning by yourself after the project is delivered. But in case you do need to take matters into your own hands, be sure to leave enough space in your schedule to step in and polish until it’s up to your standards.

Finally, try viewing your expectations through the eyes of your Right Person.

As someone who holds myself to a high standard of Excellence, I know I am my harshest critic. I’ve always been a high-achiever, and if I know I can do something exceptionally, I feel like it’s my responsibility to do that. That said, there have been many times when the need for perfection has meant sleepless nights, missed opportunities, and unlaunched products. This doesn’t mean I’m about to accept unpolished as “good enough” — far from it! But I do recognize that no one expects me to single-handedly do and be all the things, all the time. Even business owners I know and respect have to rework their schedules and reframe their expectations. Just because you’d planned a weekly blog and ended up with a monthly one doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong — it just means you can focus on one great post, which may play to your strengths even better.

It’s not a matter of lowering your standards because “good enough” is fine for some people. The clients who truly appreciate your high quality are going to understand that you need to focus on a manageable number of projects so that you can give them your absolute best with the ones you choose to make your focus.

Think about a restaurant. When you visit a generic chain, you’re handed a War and Peace style menu book, with just about every option and permutation under the sun. Nachos. Salads. Burgers. Salmon. Steak. Pasta. Pizza. Fried chicken. There, it’s all about quantity. Now think about a high-end restaurant — I’m talking James Beard award, tasting menu, call for reservations and don’t expect salt on the table. Often, they’ll hand you a single slip of paper, with maybe half a dozen options for each course. Each one perfectly designed, layers of flavors and textures, paired just so. Because they know that’s the way to ensure every diner has an exceptional experience: create what you can control, make it just right, and leave the buffet to the other guys.

So go easy on yourself, high Excellence business owners. Accept that help, focus those energies. And, most importantly…don’t hold back from hitting that “publish” button.

In the comments, I’d love to hear:

Do you struggle with launching something knowing that you could make it even better with a few more hours…days…weeks…months? How do you decide when it’s time to call it “done”?

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Making the Case for a Dash of Audacity

Despite what my Crayola-colored hair might suggest, Audacity is not one of my top Voice Values.

In fact, it’s pretty far down my list. I tend to favor a measured, cautious approach. Accuracy is more my speed. Slow and steady. Dot my i’s, cross my t’s. Fortune may favor the bold, but brash and brazen give me hives.

It doesn’t help that our current climate here in the United States is basically a tableau of Audacity gone wrong — an endless stream of entirely over-the-top things said or done seemingly with the sole purpose of shocking us until we’ve become numb to the constant onslaught of stupefaction and vulgarity. Can he say that? Is this legal? Is this real?

Audacity done right, though, can bring a punch of humanity to your business — a spark of motivation, a much-needed laugh, a gentle nod to your fellow outsiders. It just takes a light touch and a bit of self-awareness. A nudge, not a slap.

Whether you’re looking to embrace Audacity as one of your top Voice Values or you’re interested in just a pinch for added flavor in your brand conversation, Audacity can be a lot of fun. It’s bold and daring. It’s loud and courageous. It’s…not for everyone.

Or, well, it can be. You just have to know how to use it.

Audacity is an interesting Voice Value because it gives you permission to be who you are, no apologies. You can be Audaciously non-Audacious — brazenly square, in a room full of dance-party unicorn badass babes. There is a rawness to Audacity, a realness and an authenticity, a willingness to see a trend and say, in the immortal words of Arya Stark, “That’s not me.”

In a brand conversation with a softer, gentler feel, Audacity can help you build a sense of urgency.

In some cases, Audacity comes through as playfulness. It’s not necessarily a no-filter nose-thumbing at the establishment — sometimes, it’s a play on words and a refusal to take itself too seriously. Not everyone with a high Audacity value is comfortable with — or interested in — swearing in their business communications. (And not everyone who lets slip the occasional burst of colorful language is sporting a high Audacity value, though it’s often a sign of some Audacious tendencies.)

Audacity shows your readers that you’re not afraid to be authentically you. Sometimes, that presents as a rebellious middle finger at the establishment. Sometimes, it’s a refusal to fall in line with what’s expected or “cool.” It’s rejecting the narrative and replacing it with something that feels more true to you. It takes courage.

Letting loose a tirade of invective is certainly Audacious. Airing your dirty laundry is Audacious. That doesn’t necessarily make it a good idea. There are certainly businesses who have built their reputations around scandal and feuds, but I think we can do better.

I recently placed an order with Lime Crime*, a company that positively oozes Audacity. At their best, this comes across as vivacious, enthusiastic, and inclusive of customers who see themselves as outsiders or even outcasts. At their worst, it’s resulted in a mountain of complaints and criticism — not about their products but about their behavior. To be honest, as someone who votes with her wallet, it kept me from purchasing from them for years, and it was only after several glowing reviews from friends that I was willing to give them a try at all. In this case, a little too much Audacity overshadowed their Excellence and actually detracted from the humanity of the brand a bit — a heartfelt mea culpa would’ve gone a long way to soothe their scandals, and I probably would’ve been rocking those badass lipsticks for years.

That’s the thing about Audacity — it’s easy to wear it as an armor when asserting your individuality, but if you don’t pair it with a bit of vulnerability, it can backfire, and what started as authenticity becomes a facade.

So yes, I think a dash of Audacity could do you some good. You can use it to spur your readers into action. It can make them feel included and special. It might make them laugh, or reply with a hearty, “Eff yeah!” It’s empowering — for you and for your readers. But it doesn’t always need to look the same, and it should never overpower the substance of your brand conversation.

So be bold. Be courageous. But, above all, be you. Because you are why your Right Person is here.

In the comments, I’d love to hear:

How do you embrace Audacity in your business? Do you see an opportunity to be a little more Audacious, or does the idea make you want to hide under the covers?

 

*Yes, that’s an affiliate link. While I can’t — and won’t — speak for the actions of the company, I can wear their lipsticks without leaving little kiss marks all over my babies, and that link gives you $5 off if you decide to give them a try.

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Intimacy wo exposure - Blog

I’m really bad at awkward silences.

Don’t get me wrong, I love silence. In a house with two girls of pre-preschool age, it’s hard to come by. I cherish every single second of ear-ringingly empty quiet (at least until a cat knocks something over or the baby wakes up). But I’m talking about those lulls in conversation when it’s obvious that someone needs to speak up.

And oh, I speak up. For a textbook introvert, I do a whole lot of speaking up.

When faced with the prospect of an awkward silence, I have a habit of filling in the quiet with every little detail of my life. All those things I’d rather not share? The embarrassing stories? Deepest secrets? Private thoughts? Suddenly, I can’t hold them back.

Do you do this? It’s awful, isn’t it? I’m a relatively private person by nature, but one awkward silence and I’m — to  steal a phrase from every mafia movie ever — singing like a canary.

In a lot of ways, the internet is the ultimate awkward silence. Even if a blog post ends up with a hundred comments, a lively discussion, a viral social media presence, when you’re sitting down to write, it’s just you and your writing playlist/Netflix binge. It’s a perfect storm for oversharing.

To top it off, there’s a pretty good chance you want to get a little personal in your writing. In fact, Intimacy is one of the most common Voice Values for our clients. It’s one of the reasons we’ve left our day jobs, to create a career with a more human side, favoring connections over the stability of a regular paycheck. (Yes, even us introverts.) It’s why so many of us prefer to work one-on-one or in small groups. It’s why we’ve scaled our businesses to retain that personal connection. Intimacy and authenticity is what we’re all about.

So how do you foster intimacy with your readers without feeling quite so…naked?

Well, first of all, you need to be intentional.

You’re bound to share some things about yourself, no matter what. You want to share a bit, if you hope to connect with your readers and potential clients. Especially if your brand features you as a person, it’s almost impossible to avoid — at least without coming off as dry and distant. Even if you don’t have what would be considered a “personality brand,” giving your business a face helps your Right Person understand why they’re hiring you. It makes working with you about working with you, and features you, yourself, in particular, as an important part of the process. (Which you are.)

So what do you want to share with your readers? Think about your life. What areas will your Right Person naturally understand?

Do they share your love of hiking, or will they admire your encyclopedic knowledge of craft beer? Maybe they’re homebodies who would love to know that you knit, even if they prefer a good book for their cozy evenings by the fire. What do you do or love or know that gives them some insight into who you are as a person, outside of your work? You may have a hundred interests, but focusing on just a few key pieces helps create a more cohesive picture of who you are. Start there. You can always share more and build on this as you go.

Now, what’s off-limits?

It’s okay to keep some things to yourself. If you don’t want to share your children or your sexual preference or your health struggles with your readers, that’s okay. Hey, if you don’t want to share your knitting or hiking or beer drinking, that’s okay too. It’s also okay if these personal details become the cornerstone of your brand. It’s really up to you to decide what feels right to share and what belongs to you alone. But decide that before you write a single word, or there’s a very good chance you’re going to find yourself with the awkward silence of a blank page, and suddenly every childhood trauma is spilled out in front of you and all you wanted to do was share a recipe for quinoa salad.

Transparency is not the same as intimacy. There is no reason to feel you need to share everything in order to foster an authentic connection with your readers. It doesn’t make it any less authentic. It doesn’t make it any less intimate. It just means you’ve created healthy boundaries. And that’s a good thing!

No matter what you choose to share, though, be sure to keep it real. If you’re hiding your personality or pretending to be someone you’re not, you’ll be maintaining a persona that simply isn’t you, and that’s not sustainable in the long run. Before you know it, you’ll find that you’re avoiding your readers because you don’t want them to figure out that your public face and your private face don’t match up. You’ll be working with clients who are drawn to this false sense of you — and, more importantly, scaring off the very people who would line up around the block for what you really have to offer. When you choose to be just who you are, it’s easier to communicate, to connect. What you share doesn’t need to be a complete picture of who you are, but it does need to be you.

The other side of intimacy, of course, is listening.

If you’re just spilling what you’re all about, you’re not really fostering intimacy, you’re just creating a confessional. Help your readers feel seen. What do you know about them? Is there something they have in common? Something they’re going through?

Intimacy is about recognizing and highlighting the camaraderie you share with your readers and clients. It’s understanding them and building a relationship — a give-and-take that happens over time. It’s not about exposing your deepest secrets in one frantic ramble to fill the silence. When you’re intentional about what parts of yourself you want to make public, and when you take the time to listen and learn about your readers, you create a genuine rapport.

Keep it authentic. Keep it reciprocal. And, if it’s private, keep it to yourself.

In the comments, I’d love to hear:

How do you cultivate intimacy with your readers? Do you have a tendency to overshare, or to undershare?

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hear-your-own-brand-voice-blog

When I was in college, I discovered that I have an accent.

I grew up in central Pennsylvania, in a suburb of Harrisburg called Linglestown. Now, I definitely knew people who had accents. Locals, even. People who threw around “yinz” (think “y’all” for the northern set) and “crick” (the stream of water behind our house). Even a few bonafide Pennsylvania Dutch folks, with all those weird turns of phrase. But me? Flat mid-Atlantic affect. Perfect voice for radio. (I’ve done a few commercials. NBD.) Or so I thought, anyway.

Fast-forward 18 years. Scene: a small but diverse liberal arts college in Southern California. I’m thrown in the mix with bright-eyed students from around the world. I’ve got friends with all manner of very obvious accents…and out of nowhere, I’m informed that I have a funny way of saying things. An elongated “o” in the middle of words. A lilt at the end of my sentences when they go on a little too long that makes it sound like I’m asking a question when I’m making a statement.

You’d think this would have come up sooner.

So now I’m suddenly self-conscious. I avoid saying things like…that company that makes PhotoShop. I clip my thoughts. Period. End of statement.

A year after graduation, I moved to Florida, my vocabulary packed with new lingo that immediately pegged me as an out-of-towner. Not so rad. Now, with multi-year stints in three of the four corners of the continental U.S., I’m a verbal mutt, with slang and speech patterns from all over. I’ll never fit in anywhere, accent-wise. But I’m okay with that now.

I wrote recently about how hard it can be to see our own special talents, the things that can make us uniquely useful. Our voice works the same way.

It’s tough to notice the idiosyncrasies of our personal speech patterns. But when we try on a voice that isn’t our own, there’s nothing more uncomfortable. Have you ever tried to fit in with a group by injecting some of their vernacular in your speech? It’s super awkward. You might even try to psych yourself up to say something but end up tongue-tied, totally unable to force the foreign words past your lips.

So why do so many online businesses sound like carbon copies of each other?

When a business is successful, it’s tempting to copy everything they do. Their look. Their style. Their business model. But what works for one business doesn’t work for everyone. And, even more importantly, copying what works for someone else means wearing a skin that doesn’t quite fit. Do you really want to speak in someone else’s voice all the time? Your business is your passion. Shouldn’t you be yourself?

There may not be too many people out there with a Pennsylvania-California-Florida accent. But it’s who I am, and when I use my own voice, my authenticity comes across. And, in business, when I relax into my Voice Values — rather than trying to be an audacious goddess or a love-led group-builder — I’m offering my best self, and the people who need me will know me. When I try to sound how I think people want me to sound, I get panicked. It’s untenable for me to pretend I’m someone I’m not, to wear the voice of a business that isn’t tailored to my own personality. What works for someone else just isn’t me.

And that’s okay.

Whether your Voice Values attract your Right Person because they see you as a kindred spirit or because you offer something they need but don’t have, knowing what’s important to you can be the first step in really hearing yourself. And, once you hear yourself — you learn your own accent, your own idiosyncrasies, the language that speaks to you and through you — you can really own it, and people will sit up and listen. It’s fine to try on an accent from time to time (who hasn’t gone a bit British after a Doctor Who marathon?), but speaking in your own, true voice? Well…

Yinz should give it a try. It’s pretty rad.

In the comments, I’d love to hear:

Have you ever tried to sound like someone else in your business? How did it feel? How does your voice show up in your work?

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