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Business basics for brand creators. Because keeping up with the details shouldn’t derail your big dreams.
Unfollow and unfriend everybody.
The End.
Just kidding. There’s more to this story.
Seriously, though, I’m up writing late this evening (10:34 PM is late for me, who is wont to go to bed on Granny Time). There’s been something on my mind lately that I really want to talk about, but haven’t been sure where to start the conversation, or what effect it might create. So I’ve decided to share it here.
You see, I seem to be having the same conversation lately with everyone I talk to: clients, colleagues, friends. So many of us — and I certainly include myself in this group — are feeling SO OVER THE INTERNET. Especially over social media.
For me, the OVER IT-ness is specifically around Twitter.
Before you tell me, But Abby, Twitter is what you make it — I so know that. I have been making it what I’ve wanted to make it. And therein lies the problem. And so now, I’m making it something new — something I need right now.
But first, let me tell you a story.
Input is my party trick.
When I used to teach high school English (in my pre-business owning days), I had a sort of party trick I’d demonstrate to students on the first day of school, every year. Within 55 minutes (that’s how long each class was) of taking attendance for the first time and putting a face to each name, I’d do The Name Thing. I’d lay the roster facedown on my desk and proceed to go seat by seat, row by row, and recite the names — first, middle, and last — of every student in the classroom. Up to 30 students per class, up to 6 classes a day. My accuracy rate was about 80-90%, the first time through.
What’s my trick? It’s not a photographic memory, but a high Input strength. My mind is constantly in Input More mode (even when I’m dead sleepy, quite sick, or otherwise compromised) and I rapidly catalogue and archive new info according to my own specific schemata. I collect names, data, and details like other people collect baseball cards. Or tattoos.
Input has been my way of getting through the world. I rely on Knowing Stuff About Stuff.
For this reason, Twitter has been a huge joy — a perpetually updated feed of info parcels for my consumption, some of them even wittily wrought! — and a huge hindrance to my being able to stay in creation mode, in flow, and at peace. Because my penchant for multitasking is so high, I move my business forward on the daily while always knowing what everybody else is up to.
I want to quit that habit.
Breaking up is hard to do.
I’ve been using Twitter for business since 2008 (certainly not the earliest days of Twitter, but, well, a good while!) and I’ve been on Facebook longer than that. These platforms have changed through the years, but one thing is certain: the inflation of airy ideas and plastic promises into near-religious doctrine (in 140-character homilies) is at an all-time high. (Are you with me?) Not to mention, the ego battles, the link blitzes, the snark fests, the one-sided humor, the political diatribes, etc.
I’m not saying I’m not part of it. I certainly contribute my own biz-promotional tweets to the mix. There’s nothing wrong with any of us using Twitter for business. Heck, if I didn’t have a business, I probably wouldn’t even be on Twitter. (It’s a privacy thing for me. Not so into sharing my personal life over the interwebs. No judgement if you do.)
Now granted, Twitter is quite often a wonderful, validating, ego-supportive place to be.
But is that really so good for a creator, or a teacher, or a consultant, to be petted, praised, and stroked? Are we training our brains to need the ongoing validation, the retweets, and the backchannel high-fives that flow in over DM? I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my creative output to hinge one iota on some kind of Pavlovian response.
On a delightful day, of course, I adooooooore Twitter. It’s one of the most fun places in the world for writers. We get to communicate in short, poem-like bursts of concrete ideas. We get to practice our dialogue-writing skills. We get to experience the rush of a first-time share from Somebody Big, the tiny thrill a new @ reply serves up, the internal jazzle of a really good 3-way, 4-way, or 5-way convo with mutual tweeps.
And yet — I have to notice, and admit to myself, and respect, that my MOST productive days are the days I spend the least time on social media. And the weeks when I feel really, really great are weeks when I’m a little social media-lite.
I can’t do Twitter like I’ve been doing it anymore.
And so — I’m making Twitter an easier place for my brain to be.
This week, I embarked on what will likely be a massive unfollow of Tweeps. I’m radically paring down my Home feed so that I only see the kinds of content I feel drawn to engage with, right now, this week.
If I want something different next week, I’ll add more Tweeps. Or delete a few more.
Yes, I know this is why Twitter lists were invented — so that we could segment who we follow into feeds that make better sense to us. Tried it; ultimately, it’s not the solution I’m looking for. Lists just give me one more schema to layer into my schemata. But maybe Twitter lists are a great solution for you.
In doing this massive unfollow, I’m accepting that :
(A) since I’ve been a really friendly, conversational Tweeter, some people may take offense to my unfollow and (A1) unfollow me back if they see following as a reciprocal deal (it’s okay with me if you want to) or (A2) get offended with me (though I hope a social media unfollow doesn’t bum you out that much), and
(B) as a Connector, this may somewhat compromise my ability to . . . connect. Or not. We’ll see. It’s an experiment.
Someone I like a lot challenged me last year to spend 6 months deepening the business relationships I already have rather than intentionally expanding into new relationships. She also challenged me to stop pretending to be an Extrovert because it’s not good for my Introversion. [Ahem.] I can sense that the time for all this is nigh.
Many of the people I’m unfollowing are friends, friendly acquaintances, peers I respect, and clients. Many of the people I’m unfollowing on Twitter are people I look forward to remaining connected with elsewhere (like here or here). Some of the people I’m unfollowing are people with whom I’ve never exchanged Tweet One.
And that’s all right with me. Reducing some of the connectivity that this digital life affords us sounds like just what my soul is ordering. And I’m choosing to listen to my soul, not to the electronic chirp.
Now true connection (as opposed to connectivity) is something I’m still interested in. Tami and I are designing for true connection over on Google+, where we’ve just opened our Voice Bureau Community. If you’re into thoughtful conversation, not just noise, please consider joining us there.
In the comments, I want to hear:
What about you? What do you do (or what will you do, starting now) when social media bums you out — hampers your flow, harshes your mellow, impedes your process?
Hello, you.
{ 48 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh my…another incredibly timely post for me! I spent last weekend (yes…weekend…bad business owner!) reorganizing my Twitter lists. I do this periodically. There are people I’m following out of obligation, or because everyone else does and I’m afraid I’ll miss something huge if I don’t. I’ve never actually “talked” to most of the people in those groups.
I, too, am a total introvert. Social media can wear me out really quickly, especially if I’m not comfortable tweeting the people whose words are streaming past my eyes. It feels so surface sometimes that I don’t end up being social at all.
I tend to hide for a while. I’ll be on Twitter a lot and then gone. And then I get annoyed with myself for not being “consistent.”
Might be time for my own social media overhaul, too…
Hi, Erin —
There are people I’m following out of obligation, or because everyone else does and I’m afraid I’ll miss something huge if I don’t. I’ve never actually “talked” to most of the people in those groups.
YES. It’s as if we were to unfollow, we’re afraid those people are going to show up at our door one dark and rainy night!
Turning it around, I would NOT want someone to keep following me out of obligation, or because other people, too. We need to allow people to trust their own sense of personal power. An unfollow is not like withdrawing a character endorsement, or a stamp of approval.
I’m just coming off of a Twitter burn out. But I can’t really blame Twitter because I’ve always had periods where I needed extreme alone time. Twitter might have made my retreat a but deeper than normal, though.
Because of the transient nature of tweets, I’ll probably never be able to grow much of a following there unless people know me elsewhere first. And I’m okay with that. Sites like Pinterest and G+ are more my speed.
Like you, Abby, I love surfing the information tide on Twitter. But I have a tendency to want to read every tweet. (…Plus a tendency to go down the rabbit hole when I find something interesting.) So I definitely have to limit who I follow.
It’s nice to know I’m not alone. :)
Nope, MJ, you are not alone!
1. You are the first person in my real world who also hates lists. Tried ’em. Hated ’em. I’m into the stream when I’m there and it’s GREAT motivation to keep the list pared down to what’s actually real and usable. Emphasis on real.
2. If you want to unfollow ME as a show of support, go for it! :) Although, it won’t help your stream because I came to the conclusion that Twitter was a creative and personality drain for me too. It was the one social media platform that I felt I had to CUT until I was settled. I’ll go back in a limited way when I’m ready, but my introversion and my propensity to get sucked into the vortex means I will probably always be there the least of all social media platforms, even though there are aspects of Twitter that I highly value. When I do go back to Twitter it will probably be with the intention of connecting to DIFFERENT people than I connect with on FB or G+. Pinterest… meh, that’s not really a connection for the most part.
3. If there was ONE THING I could change about social media it would be that we would all stop judging the way others use social media and their motives in doing so. Sooooo many assumptions, most of them false. So many unnecessarily hurt feelings and so much offense taken where none was given. I’ve even begun to stop being bothered by those who post what I consider drivel. If they aren’t people I care about, then I stop the madness. If they are, then I cover that in love and simply don’t look at it. What’s the point in a critical spirit? It only hurts what relationship IS there.
Anyway… I applaud your reasoning and hope others will follow. It’s only hard for a minute. Then it feels an awful lot like…freedom. Exhale.
I want to like lists; I do, I do. Because they’re orderly. And I love order.
And — yes, let’s all stop judging how anyone does anything. Least of all using social media, right?
High praise for your honesty!! I JUST joined Twitter for business reasons and it’s been pure overwhelm! I enjoy having the space to share my findings and inspirations with the world but am getting lots and lots and lots of noise in return. I too am weighing the pros and cons of it really becoming quickly a one side space for me to contribute. I relate so much to the connection element you desire and how different that is from connectivity. I may need to branch out of my lack of tech savvy and discover this Google + you speak of!
Hey, Jodi! There’s a lot of depth on G+, I’m seeing. But a lot of wonderful people with depth on Twitter, too. Just tougher to get meaningful in 140 characters at a time. I’m noticing that who I’m UNfollowing is making all the difference in keeping my Tweetstream a more peaceful place for my brain.
I’m so glad you’re talking about this, Abby. This is a conversation we need to keep having. I’ma be meta for a second — I think all of this digital-age communication is a part of our collective evolution (both healthy and unhealthy). We can’t work it out if we don’t work it out.
Part of how I’m trying to work it out is really similar to what you outlined: I unfollow about 200 people a week — sometimes because I’m frustrated, sometimes because my brain is just too tired any extra input, sometimes because I need a change in scene or conversation. I find that I often discover 200 new folks I’d like to keep an eye on/hear from/chat with (that sounds so creepy … Twitter mostly sounds creepy when we talk about it out loud), but not all the time.
Regardless, sometimes I’m swimming in the Twitter pool and sometimes I’m laying on my beach towel reading Harpers and paying no mind. Depends on the day. Depends on my frame of mind. Depends whether or not I’m deep in a creative project. Depends on how my partner and I are doing. Depend on if I’m feeling chatty. I’m finding my best defense against social media bum out is to tune in to myself in the morning, before I sit down at my desk — and be okay with whatever the answer is when I ask, “What do you need today?” I don’t do this everyday though I’m working toward it. I really do think it’s about sanity for the long haul.
I admire that you ask this question, B (“What do you need today?”). Even asking it of yourself ONE day a week is a feat, in my book!
And yes — digital is definitely part of our collective human evolution. We’re living on the cusp of a HUGE sea change, I think, in what it feels like to be awake and sentient. Hmm.
I can definitely relate to social media burn out. It’s a tricky one to manage.
I also want to say I don’t think you’re compromising your connecting ability. You’re taking the steps you need to take care of your introverted self, which in turn will help you create the deep relationships you want to maintain and build. Because you want to be your best self when you’re connecting, right? :)
I forgot to mention one of my action steps at avoiding social media burn out. I recently turned my facebook chat off because I really don’t want to be connected to all of my facebook friends every time I log on. And I’m really glad there is that option because that one simple step made me like facebook more than I have in previous months.
Yes, yes, yes, Kristy. Thank you.
It’s much easier to unrasdtend when you put it that way!
It’s so great when someone speaks out about something you thought you were alone in wrestling with. Thanks for your measured, thoughtful post.
Social media burns me out in a major way. I’ve also noticed that the days I am most productive and, dare I say, happiest, are the days when I’m offline (except to check email).
As for an action step? I’m committing to checking Facebook twice a week – that’s it. *crosses fingers I can pull this off*
Twice a week?!? How’s that going for you? I’m guessing that you may not have an addictive personality, Ana. What would you say to that?
Yes, I would say that I likely do not have an addictive personality. *chuckles to self*
Actually, I’ve taken this commitment a step further and deactivated my account. It’s an experiment to see how life feels without FB. You know how special our ISS group is to me, but I just felt like I had to do something drastic to eliminate the “noise.”
Oh, Ana, I don’t blame you at all. I hope you know how special you are to ISS, and know that we’ll be here when (and if) you’re ready to reprise your relationship with the big EFF BEE. ;)
By the way, every time I type out ‘ISS,’ I chuckle internally. When I was in high school, that was the acronym for In-School Suspension. Not where you’d want to end up.
For me, the problem was Facebook. I was on there a lot during my work day because I work in a two-person office and often feel lonely and isolated and bored at work. So I would browse around FB while working, but there was so much negative garbage on there (politics!) I often found myself angry, depressed, disheartened, and hopeless at the end of a day. I set a few people to “important notices” status, and that helped. But what really helped was moving back to doing most of my daily communicating via Twitter.
I set up a feed that’s all about the stuff I most want to read and talk about–making art, creativity, intentional living, cool workshops and books, etc. I still check in on FB a couple of times a day, but I don’t stay on there. I hang out on Twitter with my very focused feed, and my mood and outlook and productivity are so much better now!
Love your strategy for curating your feed, Kim, to feed you, not starve you of mental peace. Tipping my glass in solidarity!
I’ll be honest and say I’ve never really got what the big deal is about Twitter. Not really a fan. However, I know it’s very effective for some people. I have been feeling this totally ‘over it’ re the internet in general and am trying to spend a lot less time on FB also and have started to use the ‘Schedule posts’ tool in the last few weeks. I’ve also removed those apps from my iphone which immediately gave me a massive sense of relief. A couple of weeks ago I stayed off my phone and laptop for 24 hours and OMG the space that was created was wonderful. I feel ridiculous for even saying that 24 was a big deal to not be connected to those things, but it made me realise (even more than I already knew) how much productive and creative I am, whilst not distracted by them. I sense a lot more of this disconnecting activity coming on…
I experience the same when I occasionally de-install my SM iPhone apps, too, Michelle. Inevitably, I install them again because I start believing I can go back to connectivity and yet remain peaceful. Admittedly, the peace ebbs and flows, but I’ve yet to maintain a nice equilibrium for very long. Here’s to YOU for giving yourself what you need.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this. A lot of my clients have had similar burnout experiences, not with twitter but facebook. I’ve never had social media burnout because I’ve never had a facebook account and only recently got on twitter. (And yes, you can have a successful biz without either of those things.) But I have had general internet burnout and have to draw strict boundaries around my use of it.
That said, I kind of like twitter, although I can’t imagine trying to keep up with a constant stream from thousands of followers. I’ve been reading that there seems to be an emerging zeitgeist around connecting via smaller online communities where people feel more of a sense of belonging. So I’m happy with my tiny twitter stream and I do have a list where I can limit my engagement to a manageable amount.
One thing that confuses me though is if you’re on twitter for biz reasons, why would you unfollow people who are following you? Aren’t they mostly there because they’re interested in you and your business, or may want to hire you someday? I may be really naive about this and perhaps I don’t get the twitter/business link. But I do notice that if I follow someone because I already like them (I get their newsletter and/or blog feed or I’ve purchased their products/services), I tend to feel less enthusiastic about them if they don’t follow back. That might sound petty but I actually think it’s human nature. We all want to be seen, heard and connected. Even though I know that people with large followings probably won’t ever see my tweets, I like it that they took that little bit of time to follow me back.
Hi, Patty —
Thanks so much for sharing your experience. I absolutely believe you can have a successful, thriving business without participating in social media, but am not sure that’s possible if you intend your sole marketing channel to be the web. I’m curious if you have an offline business/practice/client-base, and if not, how do you fuel your online-based business without participating (much) in SM?
Great question you ask about unfollowing people who are following me because they’re interested in my business. I think the answer depends on one’s personal philosophy of social media use, as well as one’s personality & predilections. For me, I don’t see following as a reciprocal deal, or a two-way street. I follow someone because I want to hear what THEY have to say, but I have no expectation that they’ll follow me back, or even interact with me if I reach out to them. (Maybe I’m weird.) Respectively, I don’t have a problem unfollowing someone who’s following me, because their content just may not be of interest to me right now. I’m sure others feel differently, so if you do, please feel free to chime in.
Gosh. I don’t know where to start with this post, but I LOVE it on SO many freaking levels.
First of all – I don’t know what in the world ignited it, but all of a sudden a whole lot of introvert entrepreneurs have decided to really own that space, and for THAT I’m grateful (or maybe I’m just starting to notice?)! Reiterating my business to go this direction over a month ago was THE best thing I’ve EVER done for my business to-date. Oh how great it’s been. Massive conversions, private messages, incredible connections, and ideas I can’t contain.
On that note, I literally smiled huge when reading your introverted ways in print! I knew there was more reasons I loved your work and personality, Abby. Introvert entrepreneurs learning to use their seeming ‘disadvantages’ as advantages is my heart. The inner narratives have to change. They are authoring how we effect change. (The Introvert Effect)
On that note, I almost came out of my chair when you started talking about outward validation. I have JUST submitted a piece to Zuckerberg Media at Dot Complicated on this EXACT subject matter prior to reading this. Title? Should you Be Going for Private or Social Approval These Days? Yep – you literally hit the nail on the head on that one! I’d say we’re on the same wavelength in this area right now.
I loved the Pavlovian reference. Good ole Pavlov’s Dogs! I use the idea to teach in a different context, but classical conditioning is cool like that!
Overall I just want to say that I’m in agreement with you on Twitter – it gets old & it’s addicting (for me). I am finding much more meaning and value in the private Facebook group I admin and in the new VB G+ community now. Beyond scheduling content to go out from it or sending a pic every now & then from Instagram, I think I will take your observations as my own personal option as well, Abby.
Beautiful post & thanks for sharing.
Thank YOU, Tamisha. I think the internet is a wonderful marketplace for introverts, many of whom tend to communicate more easily and naturally via writing than in person. That’s certainly the case for me.
I’m one of those people who walk the I/E line. Most business acquaintances who’ve met me in person don’t believe I’m an introvert. I think some of introverts get really good at “pretending.” :)
LOL – yep! I call it “puttin’ your extrovert face on” which isn’t really required. But a lot of the time, with some of us, we are so personable that people don’t even believe it. I love that mysterious part of introversion.
I have felt like this for a long time now. I came off Twitter for a whole year when I was snowed under with work. Now that I’m back there it seems changed – there is conversation, certainly, as there always was but then a whole boatload of self promotion. Including mine. When I first got back in, I just felt constantly anxious about the overwhelm.
Interestingly I’ve been in a writing flurry lately creating a series on website design, and when I look at my traffic, next to none of it is from Twitter. That wasn’t the case last year. I don’t know whether this reflects my own circle’s social media adoption and abandonment curve or a genuine decrease in Twitter interaction.
Fascinating post and thanks for voicing it.
Thanks for participating, Alison. I, too, notice the uptick in self-promo, which makes good sense if we’re using it for business, but at the same time, biz owners would do well to remember that marketing can’t be all one way! Where’s the empathy for the prospective customer?
mmm.. I understand what you are saying, but i think its a case of getting over Twitter, rather than leaving it ..for me anyway…
It was amazing when I first found it…amazing to be able to connect with so many people, from all over the world, in such a random way..and I gorged myself on blog posts..but now I feel a little bored… I seem to have got stuck with an endless stream of people selling..I don;t often look at my full livestream,. and not quite sure what I think I’m doing with my lists.. so I may follow your example Abby and do some unfollowing :)
Nothing is permanent, and I don;t think its a case of social media being over, as over for each person… I’ve been working with Twitter newbies, and its fantastic watching them get the hang of it..become addicted for a while :) I haven’t kicked up a good twitterstorm in a while,..but may just do that following my tweeple spring clean
A tweeple spring clean! I love that concept, Jen. :)
Abby this is just wonderful and so, so needed! I have used it as evidence of my sanity with several friends today. I would love to see you turn it into a op-ed or article. The neediness and narcissism of social media has reached epic proportions. There is much to enjoy and learn from a thoughtfully curated Twitter feed, but using it as a popularity contest is pointless. Thanks for being a thought leader!
Thanks for being here, Maryna. :)
I’m hardly ever on twitter these days. It got to a point where my stream seemed to be one long promo parade and I was feeling left behind — that was my cue to pull back. As soon as something starts triggering me, whether it’s a social site or somebody’s blog, it’s time to disconnect.
Facebook still has a community feel for me. Pinterest and Instagram are my happy places so i spend most time there. Google+ never got off the ground for me.
I follow you everywhere, as it turns out, Susannah, and find your proportion of promo-to-reflection to be quite palatable. :)
Seems many of us are feeling the Twitter glut these days!
Abby, I appreciate this post and all your thoughts. I am asking myself many of these questions as a newly self-employed person. My work is all about connection – to our self, to others, to our world – and if it isn’t, then I don’t have an occupation. Without students, I also don’t have an occupation. So I’m weighing how I use social media for my business. I’m trying to be as conscious as possible in my choice of how I post, what I post, how I connect and who with – knowing that I don’t always do it well. I have found that since leaving my job, I am on social media much less (and that is an uncomfortable truth) – I have *work* to do and if I get stuck on FB or Twitter, I simply don’t get as much done. I also find that I produce from a different headspace – not always a bad thing, but notable. It’s easier to write from my own heart, my own perspective and my own voice without all the noise. The downside of this is that there are many people I have not kept in contact with through my transition. I miss them, and also feel some guilt. And I hope they will understand.
I so resonate with everything you’re experiencing, Mel. It’s an exploratory process, I think, for each of us to find what best serves us, our business, & ultimately, our network of Right People. Wishing you ease!
“She also challenged me to stop pretending to be an Extrovert because it’s not good for my Introversion. ” I love the image of you taking time out to tend your Introversion Abby!
I go through phases of being ‘into’ a particular SM platform. I fell in love with G+ when it first came out, then just stopped using it because of the feeling of not keeping up with three platforms. You are about to tempt me back to it though…
One thing I do to get over that need to witness a constant flurry of twitter pats-on-the-back-yes-we-are-all-here-thanks is to walk up and down the main street of the village I live in (I live in a small rural village in Bulgaria). Thankfully I get to do this every morning as I take my girls to school and nursery. There are no cars, plenty of goats and everybody stops to say hello as they walk to get bread. It makes twitter seem ludicrous when I sit down to work.
God, I love that image, Jo! Thanks for mentally taking me on a nice little vacation. :)
I can imagine what a juxtaposition that must be for your psyche: goats, fresh-baked bread, . . . & then the Twitter onslaught. Thank goodness it doesn’t always feel that way, though. There are moments on Twitter when I’m feel as if I’m having a cup of coffee with just another person or two, and I really like those moments.
Yes, absolutely! And the flip side of hanging out in a foreign country is that I really do appreciate being able to have meaningful virtual cups of coffee and to speak my own language (even if it’s in 160 characters). The goat and bread walk keeps me humble and more focused, I guess!
I just wrote a post about creating interest lists on Facebook so that you can take back your news feed. I’ve done that a bit with Twitter too. I’ve got a couple of lists so that if I want to reduce my time on there, I only go to the content I really want to look at. I totally agree with building more meaningful relationships with the people you’ve already connected with rather than just creating new ones. It’s so tempting to keep friending and following. The problem becomes overload and being left without much that’s worthwhile.
Absolutely, Jen. We focus on accumulating more, but what about the people we are already connected with?
Abby, once again another beautifully written piece- powerfully honest.
I’m with Susannah: Twitter (and FB, too) have become triggers for me, the place where comparison steals all my chutzpah. And even when I was attempting to just have a chuckle at some cat pictures or see my friends’ newest baby, I end up closing that window feeling like there are 2,000 things I need to be doing to keep up with everyone else. Bleah.
I, too, am in the process of re-evaluating how I use social media. It seems like for online entrepreneurs, the social media marketplace has gotten absolutely *flooded* lately, and today I found myself wondering- have we reached maximum capacity? Are people tuning out, because there’s just to much stuff flitting across their screen? Something seems to be feeling off, and I think it’s not only happening for me, but for my clients and potential clients.
Time to get creative, y’all!
Yes! Creativity feels like the right solution for this issue. I’m glad you brought that up. :)
I mostly gave up Twitter about 2 years ago. It was just too hard. When I first joined, everyone said “good morning” and “goodnight” which I enjoyed and there was a time when I would scroll back to read every tweet I had missed. Over the years the list of people who follow me has grown, but I’ve never really added to the list of people I follow. That has been helpful for my tolerance level I’m sure. I usually only respond to other folk’s tweets that are directed to me. I haven’t even checked the DM folder in who knows how long.
For me the tricky part is, I stay off when I’m deep in a project – but once I emerge. I long for the connection. I feel like it can be a useful business tool, but since I am not interested in communicating that way, I don’t allow myself to (heavily) promote that way either. I also haven’t gone the route of adding “tweetables” to my blog posts or newsletter, although I may try that in the future when I have a better handle on how to use social media in a way that makes me feel good.
So much promotion and big news from others makes me less productive – because I tend to be a dweller. It can trigger me to feel bad about my work schedule/projects/launches/ideas/etc and therefore it’s not a good business tool for me.
These comments and your post make me happy. It’s good to know I’m not alone and that so many people I like online feel somewhat the same way as I do. That is what I long for in social media, to know I’m not alone or to feel a real connection to other business women, which this post has provided. Thank you Abby, for once again hitting it outta the park.
Well I have read every single post. I am so glad that I am not alone. My “evil” starts with fb then branches out down the rabbit hole. Waste of time. Lots of fun then tons of feeling I am not doing enough at home, business and anywhere else. I actually don’t see where it has helped my business. Actually it makes me feel less confident about my work as a mosaic and visual artist. Whine whine whine!….I am hooked though. It’s almost a double edged sword. I don’t know if there is a good answer for this. Ho hum! But I sure am nosey to find out about everyone on my fb, ha!
Agh, I am so happy and relieved to have found this place here.
Your post is 12 months old, but I am exhausted with social media and trying to look for a better and more resonant way forward…
I found you when I was twitter deleting many of the people I follow , who don’t follow me back, or stop following me etc….(just a way to streamline).
At first my ego was upset at the people who were not following me, as I defaulted to the thought that I was doing something wrong…
I am glad it lead me here, as I feel your words are a breath of fresh air and a reflective piece for me and my inner critic.
I was getting carried away with just trying to do what everybody else was doing and it was burning me out ;)
Welcome, Lisa! Glad you found your way here and glad you are taking time and space to reconnect to what is truly meaningful to YOU when it comes to social media use. We all find our own way there, and find a rhythm and a way to connect that feels comfortable and inspiring and useful. It looks a little different on each of us. I’m for spaciousness and unfollowing and being LESS omnipresent and more selectively tuned in.