About this column
I guess I’ve become an unintentional expert on the theme of rebounding after an intentional brand hiatus. A dormancy. A fallow period.
Why? Because I’ve taken so many unintentional hiatuses (see: Fall 2011) since starting The Voice Bureau, and my freelance copywriting biz before that, almost five years ago.
Here’s where I’m at today: I haven’t blogged or sent an e-letter to my list of remarkable business owners since my last course started. If you’re a subscriber, you might’ve noticed that. I’ve also been a little quieter than usual on Twitter and Facebook.
Behind the scenes: I’ve been delivering my latest course and supporting our clients’ copywriting projects. I’ve been taking a couple of enrichment courses, one from the wonderful Jeffrey Davis at Tracking Wonder, and the other from former Voice Bureau collaborative partner Tami Dawn Smith (newly of The Dawning Point). I’ve also been doing one of these terrific little yoga videos every day, falling asleep to this every night, and enjoying exploring Seattle and environs (our new mossy, rainy digs) with my partner and our dogs.
Oh, and also behind the scenes: I’ve been fretting, freaking out, soul-searching, all but scratching-and-clawing to figure out what the heck I want to do with my business in 2015.
I share this today, a very self-focused post, because I know I’m not the only one who struggles with it. It helps to hear what others are going through. Overworking, creative addiction, message obsession, perfectionism — these are struggles I talk with peers, colleagues, and clients about in the backchannels, but we rarely bring them to light.
Here’s the thing: I’ve got a solid business. I’ve got a beautiful website (thanks, Allie). I’ve got a crackerjack team that most likely will be expanding next year. Most of the systems and structures I need for running sustainably are in place. Sales have been better in 2014 than they’ve ever been (with two months yet to go). (Note: I wrote this paragraph to remind myself, not to inform you.)
And yet, I can’t help feeling like something is ‘off,’ and obsessing over how to set it aright.
What I’ve noticed about myself is that I have a torturously beautiful struggle with structure and flow.
I know that one can — and should — support the other.
Create structure so that you can feel free to flow. Flow toward a flexible structure that makes sense from the inside out.
I adore both the hardness, the fixedness, the container that is structure. The hard stuff.
I also adore the visceral, the ephemeral, the abstract, the instinctual and intuitive. The soft stuff.
I built a business that could contain both energies and named it in kind: The Voice (soft) Bureau (hard).
But what I’ve noticed is that I like to build elaborate, fully-realized structures and frameworks, and then implode them with my own questions and wonderings and creative, water-y wanderings. Such as, should I shut it all down and go get an MFA in Fiction and supplement the school loan I will take out with a mindless day job, one that doesn’t require the best of me creatively? Or, how about this one: Is working B2B (supporting other business owners) actually helping anyone, or is it just perpetuating the self-aggrandizing myth of sustainable solo-entrepreneurship? Because let’s not forget it is HARD to be in business for ourselves.
The good news is, after a couple months of really freakin’ hard soul pummeling (inner critic-driven, not intentional), I have come back around to what feels like center. I believe it is center. It is as center as it’s going to get right now.
And I’m ready to renew all the things that need renewed — but not heroically. Just humanely. I’m ready to see if I can take this business journey a little more gently. I’ve got the support I need. I’ve got wonderful clients, course participants, and readers that I really love to serve. The ‘how’ I serve is going to be changing a bit, and all that will unfold in time. I’ve got plans — in a Moleskine, in a Google Doc, in an art paper tablet with colored markers (SO not me, and SO freeing and interesting).
I got inspired today and made this little video.
It’s my way of touching base (can we call it a ‘touch base’?) and saying, Hey, there. I’m still here. I’ve been quiet. And I’m coming back. If you’ve ever let your business brand sit dormant for a while, you can start back up with a ‘touch base’ — a simple gesture to reconnect with your Right People and let them know you’re still here, just going through some stuff or changing some things.
Thanks for watching.
In the comments, I’d love to know:
Do you struggle with going dormant in your business brand? When you have or when you do, what’s usually going on behind the scenes?
Hello, you.
{ 24 comments… read them below or add one }
I love this so much, of course, but you probably knew that I would. Thank you for sharing this wise and open-hearted piece of your journey. And — if you do decide to go for an MFA in Fiction, for Godssake, go to a program that pays for your tuition plus stipend! (Ahem. That’s my big soapbox-y message for anyone who even *vaguely* mentions going to a CW MFA program.)
xE
Thanks, dear E. Personal posts are not my default (as you know) but I’m finding that sharing parts of my internal story are becoming more important to me.
And ah! tuition plus stipend! I’d forgotten such things were possibilities. Thanks for the tip. :)
I have an idea of what you’re going through. I just came out of a dormant brand. My best advice to you would be go slow. Write in little bits or sections. Feel your way through what’s coming out. You’ll know when to apply structure to your thoughts. Eventually what you’re creating will come to light.
This is great advice. Thanks, Kristy!
Graceful as usual, Abby. I didn’t realize when you first posted this sweet video yesterday that it was also a blog post! Glad you re-posted it.
Can creative and values-based solopreneurs do anything BUT what you’re describing? I think it’s inevitable if your work flows from your being. We’re all on a journey of transformation personally, but for us, journey and the transformation are largely experienced through our creative and connective efforts (the work we do and who we do it for).
Our businesses are going to reflect that in all its experiential bits and pieces. Like a river that sometimes flows almost silently, despite a powerful undercurrent, and other times leaps off a cliff in a spectacular display of power and grace.
No one part of a river is good or bad. It’s all serving its purpose in the environment it’s flowing through in order to meet its destiny.
We are wise to make room in our hearts for the whole experience. I LIKE that you reflect the whole picture in your work, Abby. I think others do as well. Probably not a warm fuzzy for you, but it’s helpful modeling to reflect on; such a graceful and helpful reminder to make the room and embrace the whole. Not just the launch off the cliff, or the rapids of the hustle, or the distractions of the tributaries, but the slow push, and the sometimes surprising bend.
Ah, “the slow push, and the sometimes surprising bend.” Yes.
Aw, my gravatar didn’t show because I forgot that for the first time commenting on your blog I have a website, complete with gravatar. Woot. :)
(Well, didn’t work. Not sure why.)
Fixed. :) (Sorry!)
Yay! There you are. :)
I adore you. I relate. I admire your elegance, especially here on the interwebs where it seems in such short supply.
Cheering you on with whatever unfolds as long as it rings true for you.
XO
Thanks, Ali. I appreciate your vote of support! So glad to be connected with you.
This was wonderful Abby. Thank you for articulating what I think a lot if us sometimes go through… the yearning that can bubble up through contentment. I write for others too and often want to just write for myself so I totally resonate with wanting to immerse yourself in an MFA.
I’m glad you will be back and look forward to seeing what comes up next for you.
” . . . the yearning that can bubble up through contentment.” Are you by any chance also an Enneagram Type 4, Christian?
And thank you for being here!
Thanks for sharing your journey, Abby. Change is hard, transitions are hard!
My advice, if you want it, would be to keep connecting to your Truth, centre, core… That way, whatever it is you do will have Abby essence in it.
Also I too fall asleep listening to Tara Brach! Good to know I’m not the only one ;)
Thanks, Mary. I keep returning to center and it has a lot to show me, apparently. Glad to hear Tara is an enriching part of your life and sleep, too. :)
Abby,
You whispered my name when you published this post. I’ve taken some time to clarify what I really want to be when I grow up, so my brand has been sitting dormant for quite some time. I’ve come back to center too, and so I’ll be picking up, dusting off and making a few changes before starting again. Feels good to let go of some of the guilt associated with that and also good to know I’m not alone! :)
You — we are not alone, Sandee. Wishing you all the best as you turn the page.
Make that: — we — are not alone.
My online presence has been in hiatus for a long time as my life has rearranged. It persists offline, yet there is an intention to return the virtual. During this time- pondering, wondering what form it will take, posts of yours are seeping through the layers of my soul. ‘Curated’, ‘crafted’, ‘tiny jewel of a business’ forming a wellspring that I am delighted to feel beginning to bubble up. Today I was called to your page and once again I find refreshment. Thank you xx
Perianne, thanks for being here & for letting me know what facets of this conversation are twinkling for you. I’m honored you felt called here & wish you much ease as you find your way back in to your own online convo. xo
Hello Abby,
my experience so far is like that: I have starte a year ago with building my business, and until recently I have never really systemically worked on branding the business, since I somehow felt I needed to fit more in with how others are going about it.
Which means I am waking up right now for the first time to eventually present that brand-child of mine to the world. But from the outside I am still looking dormant to others. Nothing has changed … yet. So I am assuming that being dormant can mean so many things – a really fruitful, productive, deepening period or a stagnatic, numb, disconnected period. Others can only ever tell, when they get to see what comes out once you are fully awake.
But I believe that probably the most productive period happens in darkness still – right before dawn maybe? Just because of the vulnerability of one’s new ideas and visions, that need a protective cover. They are still in an embryonic state. And furthermore I think that the more one can allow oneself to withdraw into that darkness of becoming, the more clearer, deeper and thorougher the growth will be.
I wonder if that makes any sense to you?
Oh yes, and during my dark (in a good way) period right now, reading in your blog is a very growth-enhancing thing to do for me. I am sincerely glad to have come across it.
So basically: “In order for a dawn to break, it needs a time of darkness, where things can grow without being watched.”
I want to think more about what it means for clients to be faced with such a “suddenly” dormant brand.
Warmly, Hanna
I had to let my brand sit dormant because it wouldn’t start until I was ready. I wanted it all right at the beginning.. but I realized I need to be gentle (just like you said) with what is now unfolding right before me. Once I took away the task list of making money, I could start what I really wanted – sharing what I’ve learned in the past few months.
And those things happen to be the product of soul-searching, as you put it. The need for something new, different.. the desire for change. These things brought me out of the old and into the new.
All that’s left is to allow the flow into my structure ;)
“finding clarity not burnout”…well, I wish i’da thought of that sooner! So perfect and spot on. After seven years in the biz, I find myself inside of a deliberate sabbatical. I’ve said the rest of 2015, but I’ll take each day in stride. Behind the scenes, similar to what you described, nurturing and tending the commitments in place while seeking a deeper, perhaps all new, connection to the work. Hoping all won’t be lost inside of a re-emergence. Grateful for your voice on this, and all your work.